Not sure where my art is going at this point. I tried to upload some more paintings I've done but the site is being weird and not accepting my retarded internet right now.

And so, I have been cut off. -_-''

I'm trying to figure out where all of this is heading. I want so badly to have some sort of stability when thinking about the future...

Its all happening so fast and I just don't know how to go about wiggling myself into some company's heart in order to have my art displayed and well... used. Not sitting in my apartment collecting dust.

The problem is this: I cannot find a practical use for my art. I'm so incredibly emotionally-based when it comes to inspiration and such... (I'm getting better with subject painting)... however, I really feel it is the emotional artwork I do that shines brightest.

That may not be what the public wants... and I'm thinking that this is definitely the case... and I come to an impasse.

How I would LOVE so much to work for Blizzard. Concept art and design work, logo work... Anything! Hell, Any videogame company would be an absolute dream come true at this point. Or designing t-shirts. Or websites. Or logos for companies...

Despite all my wishes and dreams... I just... I get this sense of impending doom surrounding my artwork. I don't want to turn into an Adolf Hitler and go crazy-psycho on the world because it just couldn't accept my art.

The one thing I lack... so terribly...
Is confidence.

Sure i can fake it in front of a potential buyer or employer...
but they'll find sooner or later, why the paintings are sometimes... less than happy... or even painful.

I might be getting ahead of myself trying to really drill myself into the ground for my lack of enough talent to make it based solely on it.

Better safe than sorry, though.
Better not hopeful... then have my dreams crushed.